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Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 11:15 pm Post subject: Let's Play: Pokemon Emerald
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Let's Play: Pokemon Emerald thread, so lets play Pokemon Emerald!
We all pretty much know the start here. The professor wants to explain to a 10 year old protagonist what Pokemon are, which is about the same as trying to explain what a door is. There is really only 2 ways to interpret this, either Birch is a huge dickhead who likes to patronize small children, or we've lived our whole life inside of a box and have no idea what lives on the planet other than other people.
Anyway, lets skip all of that nonsense because we damn well know what a Pokemon is.
So, hey, do we have a Y chromosome or not? For that matter, what is our name going to be?
And just so we're prepared later, what will our starting pokemon be? Treecko, Torchic, or god help us, Mudkip?
Thirding Shooty McFin on the condition that we have a sharpedo in the party as fast as physically possible. Or we could name the sharpedo Shooty McFin _________________
Shooty McFin 3rded. And we're a girl. Because we've been a boy once and it was bland, maybe this will be better.
I vote Mudkip because that alligator thingy can't shoot things and the chick doesn't have fins. We are Shooty McFin, if a pokemon cannot shoot in any way nor does it have fins, it is not worthy of our time. (This is an AND clause, if it has either of the requirements we can sit down and talk about the pokemon's application)
Also what Syanda said.
And I have no idea what the various pokemon critters are or do, being nearly 50 years old and not having watched Saturday morning cartoons for a couple of decades. So I vote for whichever one is blue, or, failing that, the prettiest.
Ok, so we are a girl and our name is Shooty because of the character limits. If people prefer, I can quietly restart and go with McFin instead, but lets see where this takes us.
It takes us right into the back of a moving van. While it is moving. Christ, are those boxes shifting around, too? They aren't secured and there is a kid riding in the back? Wow. Just think, one more bump in the road and the game might have ended here.
Wait, how did she get here again? Why couldn't we ride with her? No wonder we run away.
With all of that nonsense aside, we now go inside, set out clock, read a notebook which doubles as the games instruction manual, and then.
We are told to go meat our rival, who we are not allowed to name for once. This actually is one of the things that disappointed me about this game. Naming your rival had a lot of possibilities, and not all of them involved naming him DOUCHE.
So, we meet our rival and he is shocked to learn that Mr. Shooty Mcfin is, in fact, a girl! So lets steal his shi- oh damn he is watching us. Oh well, we'll have plenty of time for petty theft later. Lets go find that professor.
When they made professor Birch, I get the feeling they did it because they wanted to appeal to a newer generation. Professor Oak, the wise and brilliant knower of all things Pokemon was so game-boy-classic, that's miles in the past and he is probably dead by now. So, we get a professor who is so terribly bad at the field of studying Pokemon, he gets accosted by what is perhaps the weakest Pokemon in the area. While he has 3 in his bag capable of beating them. If he had just kept his bag with him, he could have beaten the stupid thing himself rather than ask us to do it.
Ahh well. Lets pound the shit out of this thing with our Treecko.
Joined: Feb 03, 2011 Posts: 141 Location: la butte herbeuse
Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 9:43 pm Post subject:
Because you're obviously going to pick Shadok's because you think it's witty Im going to offer shittier suggestions to attempt to dilute the name pool.
Bahsi
Ballsi
Babuis
Ciboire
STYROFOA
Shadok
Shado
Shad
Sha
Sh
S
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